February 9, 2011

Be still and know

I'd like to think (or at least convince people) that I am a patient person, but the truth is I hate waiting. I'm a charge ahead and get it done kind of person. From the moment I knew something was wrong with my oldest son, I began the crusade to find out what the problem was so it could be fixed. I have spent countless hours researching; filling notebook pages with questions, information, and various theories. I have read numerous books, articles, and blogs. I have pounded the floor begging God for wisdom, mercy, and healing. But I now find myself in limbo - waiting for the DNA test results to see if Grant has Fragile X Syndrome. The waiting is killing me. At this point, there is nothing more to be read or researched. I feel helpless and emotionally flat. Interestingly, I am convinced that this is exactly where God wants me to be. 

Just BE STILL my child... and KNOW that I AM GOD. 

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging... 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' Psalm 46:1-3, 10  

OK, God. I'm still. Once again I am learning that this situation/trial/journey is not all about me and it is certainly not about me trying to fix something. It's about God and His sovereignty. It's about letting go, stepping out of the way, and letting God work in my life and in my sweet son's life. God must be glorified through this trial or all of this will be in vain. So, therefore, I will strap on my shoes and hit the road to continue running the good race. (2 Timothy 4:7-8

To God be the glory!

After waking up from his nap, you can usually find Grant looking out his window, affectionately clutching his special blanket. The very image of peaceful - for a few mintues at least. :)



  1. Beautifully written - you have an amazing gift of expressing yourself in your writing! Such an encouragement!

  2. Your faith and testimony shine Jesus so brightly. Truly beautiful and heart moving. Thank you for sharing this journey with us! Praying for you guys as you wait. Love, Sam

  3. I love having the realization that, in any given situation, we can choose to crumble and fall apart, or we can choose to glorify God. And if God isn't glorified through trial and pain, then what's the point? So many people will be (and are being!) encouraged not only by your story, but the way you're choosing for your story to be written - in a way that glorifies God! Keep on keeping on!


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