March 23, 2012

Beyond words

It is quiet all around me.

The sunlight spills through the trees, giving its morning benediction.

In the distance I can hear the melody of a mourning dove. The haunting notes bring with it sweet memories from my childhood.

As I prepare for the day, I softly sing a hymn. It is like a love-inspired sonnet written for my soul.

   Savior, like a shepherd lead us, much we need thy tender care; 
   In thy pleasant pastures feed us, for our use thy folds prepare.
   Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus! Thou hast bought us, thine we are. 
   Blessed Jesus, blessed Jesus! Thou hast bought us, thine we are. 
   ~ Dorothy A Thrupp 

It has been a labor-intensive couple of weeks. I have labored in prayer. The kind of prayer where you beg for mercy - a reprieve from the hurt.

I say these prayers for my oldest son who has few words of his own. I pray that his late-night groanings will reach the Master's ears.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Romans 8:26

It is a surreal feeling to experience things that words cannot convey. No string of eloquent phrases can describe the rugged road I walk. It is only for those who have walked it to know.

And yet there is great comfort in knowing that the secret space I trod is shared with my Savior. He has led me here. Instead of pulling away, I have learned to lean in... lean in heavily with hope. I lean in and whisper my fears, my longings... and I find rest as my Savior continues to shed enough light for one more step along the narrow way.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The warm weather has opened up our backyard for even more time for outdoor play.

We took the boys to the overlook at the airport to see the airplanes take off...

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.  

For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. 

Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Romans 8:18-25

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