How I combat self-pity

The act of comparing is a daily battle I fight hard against.

I am very ashamed to admit it, but I often catch myself looking at other families, observing their blessings and coveting them.

Yes, I know the snapshots of life I observe do not completely reflect reality, but when I see a family that does not have to worry about therapies, psychological tests and mounting medical bills, I feel a threatening attack of jealousy.

The attack comes on very swiftly and soon I am battling a tidal wave of emotions:

     Fear. Sadness. Anger. Bitterness.

And all those emotions, if left unchecked, meld into one very dangerous state of being... self-pity.

At first I used to allow myself to wallow in the dreadful party-for-one, but that only accomplished being miserable - or, even worse, would lead me down a dark road to depression.

So now when I feel the icy fingers of jealousy begin to tighten their grip on me, I immediately put on the armor (Eph. 6:10-18) and wage battle.

I battle with my pen. Writing as fast as my fingers will allow, I name each blessing - big or small - that comes to mind.

{Our home, beds to sleep in, clean water, food, supportive friends & family, the body of Christ, my husband, my two beautiful boys, coffee :), two cars that are running smoothly...}

I am usually fighting back tears as I near the end of the page; tears of gratitude and of shame. How can I be so short-sighted? I have so many reasons to be thankful!

While there are many who are struggling to feed their family, drink clean water and obtain basic medicines, I am complaining about the flooring in our house and not being able to have certain comforts. Yes, my family has some real needs - important needs - but I am grateful that we never go hungry, have a wonderful home and have the loving support of countless people.

I have learned that filling my heart with gratitude pushes out negative emotions that lead to self-pity.

     It is really quite simple - but it works.

Instead of sinking in despair, my heart dances with joy and thankfulness and dwells in peace.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:6-8 

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"Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in Him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

Philippians 4:4-8 (The Message)