October 21, 2011

Perspective: coincidence or providence?

For about a week Grant has not been sleeping well - again. It usually takes him awhile to fall asleep at night but that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is the not sleeping through the night. Sleeplessness is a common problem for children who have Fragile X Syndrome (click here to read the post Fragile X Syndrome and Sleep).

The effects of Grant not sleeping through the night reach far into everyone's day. To put it simply, we are all tired and miserable and it is hard to accomplish the necessary therapies. More than that, it greatly increases Grant's anxiety level and makes him very out-of-sorts. It is not a little problem.

After several days of Grant sleeping very fitfully, I was beginning to feel physically sick and overwhelmed. We had run out of a supplement that helps Grant relax and aids his ability to sleep through the night. And we would not be able to place a new order for a few more days. As I put Grant to bed Wednesday evening, I braced myself for another sleepless night... but he didn't wake up that night. When I awoke, I stared in disbelief at the time on my bedside clock. Had Grant really slept through the night?!? As elated as I was, I quickly forgot about the wonderful gift of sleep we all had received as the demands of the day kicked into full gear.


Later that day I received a phone call from my mother-in-law asking specifically about Grant and his sleep. After relaying that he had slept through the night for the first time in days, she told me that her Bible study had spent time in prayer for Grant and his sleep.

I paused. Was it a coincidence that the very night a group of prayer warriors prayed for my son to sleep through the night was the first night in over a week that he did?

Looking back over my life you could say there are a lot of "coincidences". One example: How in the world did a communications major (who supposedly hated math) end up working in the field of budgeting, grant evaluations, spreadsheets, and data reporting (and LOVED it)? That job placed me right in the middle of a department of early intervention specialists who worked with children with developmental delays. I gleaned so much information from them that when Grant was born I was able to notice many of the delays very early.

Coincidence? I think not. I see God's hand in it all. To those who follow this blog, it is no secret that I am still dealing with the pain of Grant's diagnosis - the selfish pain of lost dreams and the paralyzing fear of his future. But when I witness God's providence orchestrating my life and Grant's life, I am humbled and very aware that I am not in control.

It is a matter of perspective. It is a matter of belief.

It is a matter of faith.



  1. This post is a goosebumper..... and I love that picture at the end. So clever and amazing!

  2. Amen sister! God chose YOU to be Grant's Mommy! What an important task He has chosen for us. To know that He knew we could do it, baffles me but I keep pushing through. :-)


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