August 30, 2012

When it rains...

I tried my best to keep my composure as the specialist looked me square in the eyes and told me Grant is not getting near the amount of therapy he needs. "His future rides on getting the help he needs now," she emphasized.

"You are preaching to the choir," I told her. I know she is right. I have heard this many times before and it never fails to flog me with feelings of despair and fear. "We are trying our best to give him everything we can," I replied while choking back tears.

What do you do when your best isn't enough? Seek the One who is more than enough.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthews 6:33

I am learning to abandon my prayers that request ease of passage through life, worldly comforts or financial success. Instead I plead for wisdom (1 Kings 3:11-14) and help for my unbelief (Mark 9:24)

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. James 1:5-6

Oh how I long to have unwavering faith! I desire to stand firm against the winds of doubt and fear that blow against me. Praise God for His faithfulness even when I continue to stumble!

Unfortunately, our situation is not unique. Many children with genetic disorders, like Fragile X Syndrome, often require a lot of therapy. And in most cases, even with insurance (if insurance will cover the therapy at all), the cost is staggering.

I often think of the Bible story of Jesus feeding the five thousand with just five loaves of bread and two fish (Matthew 14:13-21). As we try to provide for Grant, I pray that God will multiply our efforts - just like Jesus did that day for the hungry crowd. 

I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me up against the Rock of Ages. C.H. Spurgeon



  1. My heart aches for you because I have been down that road too. It is hard and you really have to trust God that things will work out for good.
    Sending you lots of hugs and encouragement.
    My son is now 23 and is doing very well. We have been so blessed over the years with fantastic people who have been there to help us through our journey.

  2. Hi
    My name is Jenna and I came across your site. Your son is an inspiration, brave warrior, courageous fighter, and a smilen hero.

    I was born with a rare life threatening disease, developmental delays, 14 other diagnosis.


© Choosing Gratitude | All rights reserved.
Blog Layout Created by pipdig